I’m constantly amazed how life can look totally different from one day to the next.
A few days ago I was fearful for our future and at times even felt like leaving my husband. I wanted someone to wave a magic wand to make everything better and magic us to a time when we could live a life earning enough to spend what we wanted, yet still both doing what we loved and spending lots of time with our kids. Continue reading
So last week my youngest was a bit off his food and I had this feeling that he was coming down with something. This led me to think that maybe I wouldn’t be able to go to work.
For two days he seemed OK but not great. I went to work one day and that night he had there’s no way to say this delicately a ‘wet fart’ and I knew then I most likely wouldn’t be going to work the next morning. With that at the back of my mind I gave the boys a bath and started to get them ready for bed. As a precaution I had been leaving bed mats around the house (as anyone would do who has experienced the full impact of a kids stomach bug) and I noticed as I got them ready for bed that a mouse had left a gift of a pooh on one of the mats by my son’s bed. I quickly disposed of it.
A machine gun fire of thinking started going off in my head!
The other day I got to train station and realised I didn’t have my Oyster card. I thought that’s funny I had it this morning, maybe I dropped it somewhere. I phoned my colleague at work to see if I had left it there but couldn’t get through so it occurred to me that I could use my debit card for my train journey so that’s what I did.
I then thought about buying a new card because I wasn’t keen on using my debit card on the bus with the kids due to having tonnes of stuff with us and the mere chaos of getting on and off the bus with them, the buggy and two scooters! Yes we don’t travel light! But my feeling was to wait until the next day to see if I could find my oyster card. So I negotiated getting my debit card out of my wallet on the two chaotic bus journeys and then the calmer more sedate journey to work the next morning.
When I got close to work it was 5 minutes before I was due in and it occurred to me that I could go to the park I had been at lunchtime the day before and see if my oyster card was there. Normally I would have dismissed this thought because it would make me a little late for work but I let my feeling guide me. Sure enough wonder of wonder, miracles of miracles I got to where I was sitting opposite some teenagers the day before and my oyster card was lying on grass nearby. I was ecstatic and beaming from ear to ear. It wasn’t that I had found my oyster card it was because I was present to the shear miracle of what had happened.
When I reflected on this I recognised the power of following your wisdom. In that instance I had allowed myself to be quiet enough to hear my wisdom and not fight it with my logic which in the past would have always won over because its voice was much louder and more forceful, to the degree that I was never present to the wisdom inside of me.
May your wisdom guide you and may you see the miracles in daily life that are always available to us if we are open enough to seeing them.
If anything I’ve written resonates with you and you are curious to find out more, please get in touch I’d love to hear from you.
It’s funny I was having a lovely day enjoying the sunshine with my toddler and all of a sudden I started to feel a bit angsty and a bit insecure. Then I started to question myself about things I’d said and not said, done and not done which led me to more insecure feelings. Sometimes I can experience these feelings and then blame them on feeling tired and somehow that takes the edge off them because I naturally know not to trust them no matter how alluring they seem. Other times these negative thoughts draw me into their web and then whatever happens in the day I seem to use them as ammunition to fuel that thinking and make myself feel worse and worse. Continue reading
There are lots of posts in my head still to be written from 2015 but I’ll start with a new year’s post because it seems appropriate (and then if I delve into past reflections for future posts I’m sure you’ll forgive me).
So as the end of the year was approaching my husband suggested I reflect on the past year as he often finds this a constructive and helpful exercise. As I happened to be drifting in and out of a bad mood/negative state of mind, for me this was not a good idea and even though I sensed this couldn’t help myself. – I was drawn to reflect as he suggested and it did indeed prove to be a really bad idea!
You see we can view our lives in any colour of the rainbow depending on where our mood is. If we are feeling content we can see the past as rosy, if we are feeling sad we can see at as grey and we have feeling downright unhappy we can see it as very bleak indeed. Since our feelings come from our thinking if we dwell on something negative we are going to experience a negative feeling about it, and this what happened to me. Continue reading
Just over a month ago my eldest son got chicken pox. He was OK and it cleared up with 7 days.
The trouble was the week after he got it me and my husband were due to go to The 3 Principles Conference an annual event organised by Tikun (where I used to work) where the best teachers from around the world come to teach. We had managed to get childcare lined up for both boys for the 3 days and we were really looking forward to it. As aside from getting to see all the speakers it was a chance for us to see lots of people we knew and catch up on a personal and professional basis.
The conference started on the Sunday and my eldest son was due to go back to school on Monday. As soon as my elder son got the chicken pox all our childcare started to fall through because people were concerned that either he or my baby (who was potentially a carrier of it) would pass it on.
Now people often ask me as a Three Principles teacher ‘if you trust that everything works out as it should.- Does that mean you sit around and let life happen to you?’ The answer to this question lies in how I responded to this situation. – I desperately wanted to go to the conference and resolved to do everything I could to make this happen but I was not attached to the outcome. What I mean by this is that deep down I knew that if it didn’t work out then that was meant to be. So when we found out that the various people who had been lined up to look after the kids couldn’t do it at very short notice, I didn’t panic, feel sorry for myself or get upset – I just set about finding someone who could.
After several phone calls I managed to find someone for the Monday and Tuesday to look after our one year old but not for the Sunday to look after both of them. – So we decided that I would stay home and my husband would go since he could only take Monday off work. I was fine with this and had a really lovely day with the kids. -Venturing to the local park where I met someone who had recently started a business doing baby massage locally. – So a very helpful contact for me as I’m keen to continue to teach mums of babies The 3 Principles in a way that works for them.
I went to the conference on the Monday only to find out at 3pm that the person looking after our baby could no longer look after him on the Tuesday. She recommended her sister so I visited her on the way home to see what she was like. Then I took my baby there the next day and only once I felt comfortable that he was happy, attended the conference.
The conference was a richer experience as a result because I truly appreciated every moment I was there. This experience humbled me as I saw that we are never really in control and that is OK. The pressure for things to work out as we want comes from us and us alone. Therefore the feelings and the drama that get associated with this like disappointment, upset, anger come from us alone also – not the situation. If we are able to drop this and open to new possibilities who knows what can arise and if they don’t then that’s Ok too.
I will speaking on Wednesday 8 July at 8pm in Queens Park on ‘There is Nothing To Fear But Fear Itself’ . It would be great to see you there. To find out more click here.