So l was at work and even though I was really busy something compelled me to look at an incoming email on my phone even though a voice inside me advised me not to. When I did the email was something about a mistake that had happened that could have financial implications for us, but the people who sent promised to try and sort it out for us. Well I got really wound up, angry, worried and distracted to the point when I couldn’t concentrate on my work. Thinking of all the things I should say to the people that in my eyes made the mistake and what the implications would be if they couldn’t sort it out etc. Thank goodness it was close to lunchtime and luckily I had the good sense not to quickly send a rude/concerned/reactive email back.
I went out for a walk to get some air and called my husband who I’d forwarded the email to. He reassured me that they would sort it out and offered to respond to them for me in calm and grateful way, something I was clearly incapable of! I thanked him and put the phone down but I was still really wound up. I bought my lunch and on the way back to the office as I going over and over things in my head I suddenly started laughing. You see at that time I had been co-facilitating a group for people struggling with issues around sex drugs and alcohol and in the groups we talked a lot about what triggers them to do what they do. Then it suddenly struck me, I have a habit of getting anxious and worried about what I term as ‘official financial stuff ‘and if I have to deal with anything related to this then I notice I get really triggered and angsty and take it all very seriously. That’s all that was happening now.
Once I saw that and laughed it took the wind out the sails because I could see I was just taking my thinking far too seriously and falling into a habit of thinking that plays out in my head. This has been really helpful as now this thinking has less and less hold over me. For example I just managed to complete my tax return in a calm and measured way. This is a huge achievement for me considering that’s the kind of thing that in the past would have cost me many sleepless nights of worry about if I was doing it right, was I going to get in trouble etc. etc etc.
When we can start to recognise habits of thinking that we have gotten into for what they are, we can see what we are innocently doing to ourselves. Seeing this enables us to have compassion for ourselves so that we naturally don’t take this thinking so seriously and when this happens it passes naturally by itself.
If you’d like to gain a different perspective on your thinking so that it naturally has less of a hold over you and your life why not join me on the Overthinkers Anonymous Online Course starting Tuesday 13 February at 8pm. For more info and to book click here.