Thanks to Lian Brook-Tyler who kindly originally published this article as ‘What A Fabulous Lipstick Taught Me About Happinness’ on the Born Happy website in August this year.
A few months ago I happened to be in Primrose Hill and feeling indulgent popped into Space NK tried on some green lipstick that enhanced your natural lip colour. To me it felt fabulous, but as I felt it was frivolous to spend money on something I didn’t need, decided not to buy it.
A month or so later I happened to be going to St Johns Wood on a course so I had two days to myself without the kids in tow (Yippee!). The lipstick had been on my mind, and since I knew there was a Space NK there too, I thought I’d treat myself to it. But that morning I went to withdraw money and there was none left in my account. Since I didn’t want to check it from my phone I realised I’d have to wait until I got home to see what had happened. I decided not to let it dominate my day and just enjoy my course which I did. (This was a huge achievement for me because in the past I would have obsessed about it all day and not been able to concentrate on anything else.)
At the end of the day I thought I’d try the lipstick on again anyway just in case my bank statement was wrong, so I did and I liked it. Then the sales assistant showed me a similar type of lipstick that was more expensive and had more ‘benefits’. I liked this one even more! I thought if I could wear this when I did my talk at Tikun that was being screened live, the lipstick would make me glow and I would feel fabulous!
Trouble was my bank statement turned out to be correct, so I couldn’t buy it even though it was really tempting. Then I thought: ‘Well, I’ll use this as an incentive to get clients and earn money so I can spend money on frivolous things like lipstick.” and got into very determined thinking. This led to more thinking about money and not having enough and not earning enough and not contributing enough!
What a lot of thinking I got into just from trying out a lipstick!
The funny thing is as people know me know, I’m not big into make-up. I see it as a treat and wear it sparingly except for on special occasions. Even thinking about make-up, gets me into lots of thinking about it! For instance, I was kindly given a voucher for my 40th birthday and I spent it on expensive make-up and sometimes when I look at it I feel bad cos even though I like, it I’m sure I could get similar products that were the same at a fraction of the price.
On reflection we buy into make-up and into conversations about needing things because we think it will make us feel good.
I didn’t have the special lipstick on when I did my talk at Tikun that’s now been watched by over 170 people. You can watch it here (start it at 2:00:54 as it’s unedited) and I felt fabulous and glowing and I know that wasn’t from the make-up… it came from inside.
My thinking about money and perceived lack of it was just that – thinking about money. Once I saw that all the obsessing and striving was coming from me and getting me no-where fast it naturally dropped away. My situation hasn’t changed. I have what I need and my family has what we need and that’s all that counts. If we didn’t I trust that I’d know what to do ensure that we did. So my circumstances are still the same but I don’t see money, or a perceived lack of it as a problem any-more. Nothing has changed… just my perspective.
That’s how life is, if you focus on something as a problem be it money, your job etc it becomes a problem until it doesn’t.
Now I guess I’m onto the next thing – lack of time anyone?!? Tee Hee.
If you have enjoyed this and want to know more, feel free to get in touch and I’m happy to offer you a half hour introductory Skype call at no cost. If you want to meet in person join our growing band of overthinkers at Overthinkers Anonymous. We will meeting up on Wednesday 16 September in Queens Park where we will be discussing ‘If it’s really true that there is too much to do and too little time to do it’ , it would be lovely to see you there.
Also if you or anyone you know have recently had a baby and want a chance to let off steam and get support from other mums as well as learn something that will help them deal with life with a baby then join me for our next NapChat on Thursday 17 September. To find out more click here.