I am now a few weeks away from hopefully giving birth to our second child and have been given the choice whether to have a cesarean again or not, because last time despite my best efforts that’s the route we had to go down.
In the past I have made decisions by seeking lots of people’s opinions and analysing and re-analysing these opinions along with thoughts of my own, by myself and with other people, which is frankly exhausting for me and everyone else I involve!
This time I have consciously chosen to decide differently. – To wait for decision to come to me rather than to agonise over it.
I recently joined a big crowd of our friends who were having lunch, and it struck me how much our thinking can influence our experience of any situation, moment to moment.
At times I was enjoying full conversations with friends, at times I felt overwhelmed by the number of people there and felt I couldn’t really properly talk to anyone. At other times I felt distracted by thinking of feeling self-conscious about things I had said or not said. At times I felt very connected with people at others I felt distant and not connected.
I wandered if everyone was having a similar experience but not realising it or acknowledging it?
We live in a world where we are constantly bombarded by requests on our time via our mobile phones, computers and other media. All this connectivity is incredible and helpful but it also makes increasing demands on our time and can lead us to feeling overwhelmed or under pressure to keep up.
In the past I’ve always believed that if people called you to ask you to do something or invite you to something you should get back to them straight away and always try to do the right thing by them… Now I’m not convinced…
Doing things because we feel we have to rather than we want to or if it’s true to who we are, is that healthy for us?
Is there a difference between being responsive and being reactive? I’m beginning to see that there is.
As someone who has entertained fearful thoughts from early on in life and believed them so much they have affected my life deeply in many ways; including keeping me single into my early 30s to staying in jobs until well past their sell by date when they were no longer healthy for me to be there. – This is something I am curious about.