There are lots of posts in my head still to be written from 2015 but I’ll start with a new year’s post because it seems appropriate (and then if I delve into past reflections for future posts I’m sure you’ll forgive me).
So as the end of the year was approaching my husband suggested I reflect on the past year as he often finds this a constructive and helpful exercise. As I happened to be drifting in and out of a bad mood/negative state of mind, for me this was not a good idea and even though I sensed this couldn’t help myself. – I was drawn to reflect as he suggested and it did indeed prove to be a really bad idea!
You see we can view our lives in any colour of the rainbow depending on where our mood is. If we are feeling content we can see the past as rosy, if we are feeling sad we can see at as grey and we have feeling downright unhappy we can see it as very bleak indeed. Since our feelings come from our thinking if we dwell on something negative we are going to experience a negative feeling about it, and this what happened to me.
Because I was subconsciously experiencing some insecure thinking about our future, I chose to look at certain aspects of the past year and used them to put on one of my ‘trusty old records’ that tells me ‘I don’t contribute’ , ‘I’ve not achieved anything’, ‘I’ve spent a load of money on childcare and I’ve got nowhere – am I crazy?!?’ – This led me to be shall we say a little moody and delicate for a few days until I came out of it.
Because I know enough about the nature of thought now that ‘old records’ are just that ‘old records’. – That is variations on the same destructive things we tell ourselves time and time again, that aren’t true and undermine us as a person and kill our potential to live as fully expressed sources of wonder in the world. I say ‘sources of wonder’ because that is what we truly are. None of us know what we are capable of, none us know where our lives will lead us, we just need to trust and do what we think is right moment to moment.
So when I think about the new year and all the talk of the past as well as future resolutions I’m reminded of the saying from Kung Fu Panda and/or Joan Rivers/Eleanor Roosevelt/Bill Keane “The past is history, the future is a mystery, today is g-d’s gift and that’s why it’s call the present.”
Happy 2016 everyone
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