My husband had been out of work for 3 months so naturally we have been tightening our belts, but one new thing I needed was a new diary for 2016. Yes, I know I have a smart phone but for an old Luddite like me there something comforting and helpful about writing your commitments down and seeing a week on one page – on paper not a screen!
So I was very excited about the prospect of buying a diary. To me it was a treat something for me, something I could indulge in. Therefore I had lots of thoughts and expectations of what I wanted. It had to be A6 to fit in my handbag and pocket, but still have enough room for what I anticipated to be my increasingly busy and inspiring life. It had to be colourful and inspirational and it had to be an expression of me. You can see where this is going can’t you…
Yes I created a long list in my head of what this diary had to achieve and could reality live up to my increasing expectations? Well it wasn’t for lack of looking. I indulged my lunchtimes in trips to various stationery shops. I even used a rare night off from home and the kids to go searching for the perfect diary on Oxford Street. Unsurprisingly nothing could meet my expectations! You see tied up in all this thinking was the thinking that this diary was an indulgence a treat for me, an expression of me and it had to be right.
There was one I saw that fitted the brief but it had butterflies all over it – too girly for me, not fun and did I want to settle for something too girly? I did not. In the end in a moment of craziness I bought a funky looking one that turned out to be far too big, bulky and heavy and not with a week to view. Then to make matters worse I wrote in it straight away! Eek! So when sanity returned in the cold light of day I couldn’t take it back. So guess what I ended up with? I ended up buying the same black plain diary I bought last year, and how do I feel about it? Surprisingly OK.
Why am I telling you all this? Well to me it really expresses the power we have to create our experience of life via the gift of thought. It’s just a diary but I created a world of expectation, frustration and joy from it. I enjoyed all the indulgent research and maybe that’s what it was about the journey and not the outcome.
This also highlights to me how much we can innocently and easily build expectations in our heads about how we should be, others should be, life should be and if it doesn’t work out we can feel disappointment. Remember though that the disappointment we feel always comes from what we created in our heads and not what happened. This is because we can only ever see any situation from our viewpoint coloured by our thoughts about it.
Happy 2016 everyone
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