Toward the end of last year my husband was out of work and suggested it may be a good time for me to think about getting some part time work. He was very positive about the opportunity to look for something new and explore different avenues and I was happy for him but I wasn’t happy for me!
His situation brought up lots of past memories of the times I’d been made redundant. Like my husband my background is in marketing both client and agency side. In my experience it’s quite a volatile market and my career path has had shall we say lots of twists and turns in it. This path has led to what I’m doing now teaching Innate Health which I see as a true expression of what I’ve done to date. Therefore the thought of going back into working for someone else doing marketing again filled me with dread and self- oathing for all the things/overthinking I can now see I innocently did that held me back in my career and at times made me desperately unhappy.
So there was my husband graceful and happily embarking on a new stage in his and our lives and there was me full of self-loathing. – Nothing to do with him or the situation. – All to do with what I chose to think about and how chose to look at my past in that moment. Well tears, tantrums, self-loathing and feeling sorry for myself went on for probably several weeks until suddenly in the eye of the storm I thought of one place that I really enjoyed working and that enjoyed me working for them. I phoned them up and as luck would have it they needed someone part time to work for them.
So I’m back working on a part-time contract for a charity I worked for 8 years ago and really enjoying it whilst still being able to pay for a bit of extra childcare to give me some time to work at building an innate health practice. I’m not going to say I don’t sometimes entertain insecure thinking about what I’m doing. – I do, but now thanks to my understanding of how my thinking system works I have the perspective to be a little more suspicious of this insecure thinking and take it less seriously which is really helpful when I see it and not when I don’t. C’est la vie.