Learning To Go With The Feeling In Other Words Learning To Trust Yourself

Doubt - Questioning oneselfIn the 3 Principles world there is a lot of talk about going with the feeling rather than your intellect.  In other words you could say going with your gut instinct, or intuition rather than your rational weighing up of situations.

As a professed Overthinker I have spent many years overthinking everything and going with the feeling is something I still struggle with as I’m so used to relying on my rational mind. People would often say to me ‘ George you need to learn to trust yourself’ and I guess what they mean is trust your feeling (or intuition) rather than asking everyone else’s opinion all the time.

The truth of this really struck me recently. My baby has been suffering from what some people may call reflux resulting in him being uncomfortable a few hours a day and at times taking 2 hours to feed.  The doctor kindly gave us Infant Gaviscon but it didn’t really do anything. In my heart of hearts I know this is something that he will grow out of but it’s not nice to see your baby in pain.

People kept saying oh you should go see the doctor to get something stronger, even though all their babies grew out of it eventually despite the stronger medication. Other people said hasn’t he got a rattily chest and isn’t he congested and I took notice of both these comments even though deep inside me I knew there was nothing wrong with him. I started to think because of these comments perhaps I wasn’t being a responsible and caring parent and maybe I should take him to see the doctor.

This thinking about not being responsible grew so much that I took him to see the doctor and he said as I thought he would, there was nothing wrong with him. – Adding ‘if you had to double your weight in less than 3 months you wouldn’t feel that great either’ which is a fair point. I obviously felt quite stupid – and before you say oh maybe it was the doctor you saw and you need to get another opinion. –  I know the doctor I saw was a good one because he’s treated my eldest before and other people I know have been really complimentary about him.

This experience made me reflect on what going with the feeling means. – To me in this instance it means learning to trust myself. Even though in this instance it really didn’t matter whether I went to the doctor or not, it illustrated to me how much I am still swayed by other people’s opinions and how that I still have a long way to go to trusting myself and go with the feeling.

I recently heard Ami Chen Mills Naim and Dicken Bettinger (leading teachers of 3 Principles) talk about how each of us has a light within us. If you go with the feeling you are allowing the light within you to shine brighter rather than let it become clouded by your intellect or your judgments (on yourself and others). To me this is a beautiful and inspiring metaphor and something that is helping to guide me on my journey to trusting myself.

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4 thoughts on “Learning To Go With The Feeling In Other Words Learning To Trust Yourself

  1. That’s one of the hardest things I have found as a momma, we are always dealing with the opinions of extremest, and it never fails in forcing us to question ourselves. If we take them in for everything we are hypochondriacs… but if we treat it with time we aren’t expressing the best parenting. It’s like we can’t win. But I feel that as the mommas we know best, we have an instinct and if we felt as if something was extremely wrong or abnormal we would not hesitate. I tend to be a hypochondriac and at times I laugh at myself because I know I am so ridiculous, but what can we do? We love our little ones. You’re doing great momma, love reading your blog!!

    – Brie

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      • Great blog, am going through the same right now with my first child. How did you manage to treat your little one with reflux in the end?

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      • Thanks so much for your comment. – It’s funny soon after I wrote this blog post he seemed to stop feeling uncomfortable. He still often took an hour to feed and was pukey like my elder son but I could tell he wasn’t in any pain any more so in the end I didnt need to anything. However if you are concerned go and see a doctor or someone else you think can help you with this.I am running a Napchat tomorrow at 11.30am which you can join from home so if you would like to know more click here. I’ll also email you the details.

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